One of life’s great mysteries was recently put to rest as a girl walking through Target announced to her friend over her cell phone that she was looking for kite sting—”like, the most random thing in the world.” America can now sleep that much more peacefully with this final declaration in place.

A group of scientists who had been working on the same problem expressed some relief at the discovery, though many couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed at being beat out. “I thought for sure it had to be driving to the state border at 1 A.M., or telling a joke with no context, or something like that. I guess the simplicity of it eluded me,” reflected one. “Yeah, I thought it was telling a joke with no context,” agreed another.

The discovery has garnered excited reactions from youth everywhere. “I hadn’t even thought about it in a while,” a kid named Derek mused, “I had given up hope, honestly, of ever really knowing. I guess the best things in life really are free.” A big group of kids wearing black and pink was spotted celebrating by talking loudly in a local mall, before their parents came to pick them up. Another lamented, “I thought it was drinking a whole thing of Mountain Dew at two in the morning. Two in the morning! Guess I was wrong.” A girl buying glittery shoes rolled her eyes at the news and sighed. “Finally. This was like half of my texting bill. The mystery is solved at last.” Or is it? An older, wiser type made the observation that “actually, she said that kite string is like the most random thing in the world, so the most random thing could really be a shoelace, or spaghetti, or really thin rope.”