-New at redbox today: The Last Song (Nicholas Sparks + Miley Cyrus) & Furry Vengeance (Cover: A bear hugging Brendan Fraser). It is ON.

-Hobbit director rumors: Two possibilities I’ve heard as replacements for recently-withdrawn Guillermo del Toro are Peter Jackson himself and District 9 helmer Neill Blomkamp. My thoughts: If Jackson did it, I’m sure it’d be good, but as he’s said before, it’d be difficult for him to not be “competing with himself,” having already made three ginormous LOTR films (I would really, really not be looking forward the inevitable fan squabble between the two series). Personally, I might like to see Blomkamp get the gig. I wasn’t as crazy about District 9 as some were, but clearly, he has a talent for telling stories (his history of working with Jackson wouldn’t hurt, either). And while I was quite disappointed to see del Toro go, he’s already done the creature design as well as planned action scenes for the movie, and really…I think that’s what you want del Toro for; as far as storytelling goes, perhaps Blomkamp could do that a little better. So maybe this crazy thing will work out after all, if MGM ever gets their stuff figured out. Obviously, it’s a Jackson production, so it’s gonna be cool, but hopes are also gonna be sky-high for this one. If there’s a combo that could pull it off in these circumstances, Jackson-del Toro-Blomkamp might be it.

-Brad Bird (director of my favorite movie, The Incredibles) is confirmed to direct Mission Impossible 4, which will be his his live-action debut. Simon Pegg is also in negotiations to return.

-I have seen Toy Story 3 three times so far. Love that movie.

Anyone have experience fighting towing companies?

My car got towed today. Last night a tree fell across the only road to my apartments, and there were no legal parking spaces available, so we had to improvise. I figured they’d understand if there were problems - minor Act of God and all - but instead I had pay $259 to get my car back. They were less than reasonable when I talked to them.

Who else do I appeal to here? Who are these guys accountable to?

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were speeding down a country road when a police officer started chasing them. They quickly pulled off the road, ran inside a barn, and hid in three sacks they found hanging from a wall. The officer walked inside the barn and saw the sacks. He poked the first one, which contained the redhead, who said “meow.” He poked the second one, which contained the brunette, who said “woof.” Then he poked the third sack, which contained the blonde, who said “po-ta-to.”

“Come check out the marriage and family class we’re starting,” my church announced at the conclusion of its Easter service. One of the middle schoolers I work with there quickly reacted, “Oh no - someone’s going to start giving my parents tips.” “What?” I laughed. He continued - not so much joking, but with a genuine, somewhat despairing “here we go again” look on his face - “It’s never good news for me when my parents start getting tips from people.”

LOST:

Hawaii, the music, being disoriented is fun / I genuinely feel a little disrespected as a viewer when they still think I’ll believe them when they tell me, near the beginning of each episode, that all my questions will be answered by the end of this episode. Can we just skip that part, please?

The internet: Google / Google

Michigan State sports: Basketball / Football

“Young people love what is interesting and odd, no matter how true or false it is. More mature minds love what is interesting and odd about truth. Fully mature intellects, finally, love truth, even when it appears plain and simple, boring to the ordinary person; for they have noticed that truth tends to reveal its highest wisdom in the guise of simplicity.”

-Friedrich Nietzsche

Let me assure you - there is no reason ever to see this movie.

Man Who Enjoys Thing Informed He Is Wrong

Dear person below me,

Please stop playing ukulele at 1:00 in the morning.

Thanks,

Luke

P.S. - You suck at ukulele.

Watching LOST is like dating a good-looking girl who doesn’t have much behind the mask; once you accept that it’s not really going anywhere - she’s just screwing with you - you can relax and enjoy the benefits while they last. It’s pretty much an abusive relationship, but hey, it’s decent fun while you’re waiting for something real to come along.

Oh boy…

http://popularism.blogspot.com/2010/01/apple-tablet-revealed.html

“The Germans do not seem to be afraid to repeat a word when it is the right one. they repeat it several times, if they choose. That is wise. But in English, when we have used a word a couple of times in a paragraph, we imagine we are growing tautological, and so we are weak enough to exchange it for some other word which only approximates exactness, to escape what we wrongly fancy is a greater blemish. Repetition may be bad, but surely inexactness is worse.” 

Mark Twain, The Awful German Language

The rest of that piece is a satire on the difficulty of the language - really funny - but I like his point here, too. Made me think of certain electronic musics. Rock - Robot Rock.

ooh, that’s a good idea for a blog.

but is it long enough?

yeah, maybe it would make a better status update.

and which one of those is more likely to get comments.

mm hm.

This is hilarious. I love that crap.

I’m watching V, that new alien show. It isn’t very good. I’m giving it one more try because I really like aliens, but I don’t think it’s going to change. It sure is providing a lot of fodder for comics, though.

“Life doesn’t imitate art, life imitates bad television.”

-Woody Allen

I got a pretty good response to my comic today:

I just deleted it cause I’d rather not have blowhards like this commenting on my site (once I approve one comment they have free rein), but then I wanted to respond to it. So Joseph of Club Penguin, here you go:

BEEOOUM. In the meantime, why not start your own socialist webcomic? I’d read it. BEEEEOOOOUUUMM.

I’m working as a Health Assistant in an Elementary School now (I love it), and today I went to a meeting on H1N1 (the first case identified in the U.S. was in a school - we’re sort of at the “front lines,” really), and I thought I’d pass along some non-media-sensationalized, non-comic-hyperbolized data:

-90% of the flu viruses currently going around are H1N1.
-It’s more communicable since it’s new strain of flu, but H1N1 is no more harmful than your typical seasonal flu, and the virus is not mutating much.
-6 months to 24 years old is by far the most affected age group.
-People over 64 years old aren’t getting it. It’s suspected there was a similar flu during their lifetime.
-91% of child deaths involving H1N1 have involved additional preexisting medical conditions.
-(Again) c. 36,000 people die annually in the U.S. from the common flu (acc. to CDC), 250,000-500,000 worldwide (acc. to WHO), and ECDC reports the number of worldwide H1N1 deaths to be 4,747 as of today. Yawn.

I’m sure I’ll come into contact with it with all the sick kids I see; I probably already have. I got a little sick-ish last week but I just slept a lot and it went away without any trouble. I’ll let you know if I start oinking or growing a curly little tail, or hey what’s thiOIIINNK OH CRAP

And I thought they smelled bad on the outside

I’m an adult!

Seein Zombieland today.

***

During a preview, the name “Michael Bay” came onscreen and the whole theater chuckled. Portland is great.

Call me heartless, but you know the thing babies do where they’re crying and they pretend they’re starting to choke? It makes me laugh. They totally do it. I love babies.

Goodbye, Windows 95 comics.

I started a new twitter; it’s less of a personal diary and more of an alien news station (better than my real twitter).

During the X Games I discovered that what used to be called “Extreme Sports” are now “Action Sports.” ACTION SPORTS! Not that I don’t appreciate the update - “Extreme” always felt a bit severe. (Look for Christian Youth Groups across the nation to start putting “Action” in their names [trying for a clever misspelling but ending up bungling it, e.g., "Axetion Christ Evermore36" {"Dude, you comin' to ACE tonight? It's a great place to look for possible future wives."}].)

What I really like about the label “action” being given to a certain arena of sports is what it says about the rest of them. (Basically: “Yes, everything else is boring.”) We have Action Sports, and…sports. Imagine espn.com’s channel selections as genre sections at a movie store:

There’s Foreign (Soccer), Music Video (Basketball), Crime Dramas (Baseball), Rom-Com (Tennis), Disaster (Football), Documentary (Golf and Outdoors), and Action! Woooooo!

Coming soon: The Food Cooking Network! The Discovery Finding Channel! ESPNESPN!

MAN I love the X Games. Some of things these guys do - 360 tailwhip backflips, double tailwhip backflips, double frontflips over a 70 foot gap, all on BMX bikes, 360s on a freaking motorcycle, skateboard tricks that are quite literally starting to look like video games, then all of a sudden they stop spinning wildly through the air and land in the exact right spot (it feels illogical to see), rolling away like it ain’t a thing, smooth as butter on baby seal’s behind. It want to cry sometimes, it’s so beautiful. I love jumping.

I also love that the trick competitions aren’t judged with fall-once-and-you’re-done scoring. I love the Olympics too but that drives me crazy; it’s hard to enjoy a rountine when all you’re thinking is “please don’t fall…please don’t fall…” Gymnastics and ice skating judging have gotten particularly nitpicky - it’s as if all they do is look at a huge list of possible deductions and then sit there not smiling, inspecting for errors. It’s like how a lot of people see God. It’s totally demerit-based rather than merit based, and it sucks the artistry right of out the room. But when you watch the X Games Mega Ramp competition, guys’ll go for a huge trick and fall it’s no big deal. THANK YOU.

If you don’t have ESPN, like me, you can watch it here.

You can also see great moments from X Games past. Some breathtaking stuff here.

Notice the time.

Attire for the week: scrub pants cut off into shorts.

“Often it can be easier to find common ground with a white person by talking to them about something you both hate.  Discussing things you both like might lead to an argument over who likes it more or who liked it first.  Clearly, the safest route is mutual hatred.”

from Stuff White People Like

A friend brought it to my attention that another webcomic and I both posted somewhat similar comics yesterday. Check it.

I just moved, that’s why the comics look different now. Only thing wood and large enough I could find. Sorta totally looks like an old Windows 95 desktop background, but whatever. Maybe I should buy a piece of wood and stain it.

Today is my birthday and I get to post whatever I want. It’s one of my favorites, though. :)

Last night I dreamt I stole a car and ran from the police. I don’t remember why they were after me. It was fun, but I knew if I had to deal with the consequences, the dream wouldn’t be fun anymore, so I woke myself up.